Sincerely Yours, Always
by FormallyAnimeYaoiFangirl2121
Summary: "I keep going to the river to pray, cause I need something that can wash all the pain. And at most I'm sleeping all these demons away, but your ghost, the ghost of you it keeps me awake." The weight of the world and humanity's fate were on his shoulders, but even a man that is burdened with so much is still a man-still human.


A/N: Alright, this is the third installment in my 'Sincerely Yours' AOT mini fics. I gave a small insight to Anya and Erwin's relationship already, but this fic is pretty much how they met, their struggles, inner demons, and so on. Now note. There are going to be a few parts in this that show Erwin in a different light. Yes he's level headed, yes he's extremely mature, but he is also human. Being looked up to by everyone, the man is bound to have some inner turmoil he doesn't let anyone else see. Jealousy, insecurities, etc. I want to try to show it all. Like I said, there are two previous stories (one of which explains a few things I didn't bother to put in here for the fact that it's in another story), so if a few things don't make sense that's why. If you don't like it, don't read it.

Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Attack On Titan.

* * *

_"No matter how dark the world gets, never stop smiling. Never stop believing. Never stop seeing all the beauty the world still has to offer."_

_**The Present~**_

She was the epitome of beautiful as she stood before him bare. Her tight corkscrew curls cascading down her back in a silken curtain of black, her deep earthen eyes seemingly glistening as they bore onto the man. Her sun kissed skin was perfect, blemish free from the top of her head down to the very soles of her feet. Tight and fit, her stature was fitted with a decent amount of lean muscle (the result of countless hours of training with him and battle in the Three-D Maneuver Gear) in just the right places. One would count themselves lucky to have someone such a she on their arm, and so he did. He could clearly see that her heart was running wild within her chest the way her breast heaved. The ample mounds of flesh, big but not so much so that they would be raunchy, with tanned skin that gradually grew lighter towards pebbled, blush kissed nipples.

"Anya…" The man breathed.

"Yes, Captain Smith?" The way her fingers mindlessly fidgeted, it was more than obvious that she was nervous.

"No need for such formalities here… just Erwin will do fine."

Her cheeks flushed pink. "I'm sorry…" Her eyes lifted to his, slowly trailing down the man's silhouette.

No matter how long they'd been together, the man still caused her stomach to flip whenever they were alone. He still made her knees weak, made her heart want to explode.

The captain stood well over six feet tall, with bare, broad shoulders that carried the weight of the world. He had a heavier build, all muscle despite being light on his feet. Erwin had a very striking face with a strong masculine jaw line and prominent followed the tight plain of his torso, dark eyes ghosting over his pectorals and abdominals, his navel. Followed the faint blonde hairs that led way to his crotch. Hair just as fine and golden as the hair on his head sat just above his cock, the erect muscle protruding proudly between his legs. The taunt, mushroomed head leaked a pearl liquid at the tip. Other droplets of pre cum gave way to gravity, slicking the sides and underbelly of the thick shaft. Erwin was handsome and fearless, an ideal hero.

And a passionate lover.

A kind and concerned companion.

When they fought alongside one another against the titans, he treated her like every other subordinate. He expected her to follow his orders, the rules, and to give her all. And if she fell in battle, he would mourn her like he would any other. His heart would grieve, but his days would go on. Just as he knew hers would if anything ever happened to him.

Though he prayed constantly that neither one of them would meet death any time soon.

He always accepted the outcomes of his actions and was strong in the face of grim situations. He stood strong in the face of adversity by having full confidence in himself and having a clear image of what he wanted to achieve. He is fully aware that he is not infallible but he is a man whose determination and courage will lead him to never give up until the day his heart can no longer physically beat for humanity.

That is what the young woman admired the most about him.

And once they were alone, away from the outside world and the dangers it brought, he would pull her into a strong embrace. Whispering how worried he was and happy they both returned safely, he would stroke her curls and listen to the empty promises she insisted he needed to ease his troubled soul. But now as Erwin stared at the girl before him, her brows slightly furrowed as she waited for him to make the first move, it dawned on him.

He cared a tremendous amount for this girl.

There were things she allowed only him to see, allowed only him to know.

And the same could be said for him.

Erwin knew her likes and dislikes, what made her happy and what made her sad. He knew she was easily distracted by just about anything, and was extremely klutzy. He knew she favored spending her days off from duty lazily in bed with a good book, when she wanted to read alone and indulge in her own thoughts instead of at his side. The way a small wrinkle would form in her brow out of frustration when he would sometimes slip puns into his own speech patterns while keeping a straight face which would leave her wondering if he did it on purpose.

It was always on purpose.

And Anya knew things about him, some of which not even Levi knew. Erwin had quite a few guilty pleasures, some he allowed himself to indulge in with Anya was company. He had a weakness for spicy food, and would make small meals for the two of them when they were alone. She also preferred to sit and watch as the man played chess and poker, while he read or did research. It was calming to see some form of emotion in his stoic façade. The captain lived for his emotional mask, the lack of empathy. She was no stranger to the fear of losing those she cared for, but she often found herself reminding the man that he was still human and needed to feel.

And so he did.

With her.

_**The Past~**_

"Is this everything?"

"What more do you need?"

"Well… a bit more than this, Levi. There is barely any information here."

"Her name is Anastasia Lynnfield, twenty-three, from the Trost district."

"…and that's it…"

"She's five foot three and a third in height, has ungodly hair, glasses. And though she would probably deny it if I asked, I am pretty damn sure she and Reiner Braun were involved romantically. What the hell else do you need?"

Thick brows furrowed as Erwin pushed the single sheet of paper before him aside with a sigh. "I suppose that is all I need," He replied evenly. "You may send her in now."

The captain watched as his corporal got to his feet, lethargically, to retrieve the young woman he was requesting an audience with. After receiving much praise about the girl, it was safe to say his expectations were high.

Anastasia entered his office with an unshakeable air of confidence around her. "Captain Smith," She greeted him.

"Miss Anastasia Lynnfield," Erwin began. Though he stopped when he noticed the glare the young woman sent him beneath the mass of curls. "Something wrong, Miss Lynnfield?"

"_Anya_, if you will." She corrected, adjusting her glasses.

Erwin cracked a small grin, "Very well." He mused. "_Anya_, I hear you are interested in joining the scouting regiment. And from what I've been told, you've developed a… rather _unique_ way of fighting that has proved efficient in battle."

"It's nothing fancy, I assure you." Anya replied. "And yes, I do wish to join."

"Might I ask why the interest?" Inquired the man.

"I want to be where I can help. I'm tired of these walls… what good have they done me so far?"

Erwin laced his fingers together as he rested his elbows on the large oak desk he sat at. "How would you like to train under me personally?" He offered.

He watched as dark eyes lit up more from surprise than joy. "Train? Seriously? I would…" Anya's words trailed off into silence for a moment before she spoke again. "This is a really great offer, it really is, but may I have some time to think?"

The question struck the man as odd, but he nodded in acceptance nonetheless. He would respect the girl's wishes either way. Anya, soon after, thanked the man for his time and interest in her than took her leave. Erwin sat back in his chair with a sigh, trying his hardest to ignore the scrutinizing glare his corporal was undoubtedly giving him.

"Offering to train her?" Levi spoke up.

"I have to make sure she can actually _fight_ a titan with this style of hers."

"Don't you think that's a bit risky?" Hazy gray eyes narrowed keenly. "Even for you?"

"We need all the help we can get, Levi. We're losing more than we're recruiting."

"I'm not going to be that brat's babysitter."

"I think she's more than capable of taking care of herself."

**…**

"Captain Smith?"

Erwin glanced up from his desk to find Anya standing in the doorway. Her arms hung at her chest, crossed loosely. Her hair seemed in more of a disarray from the humid, mind afternoon winds.

"Yes, Anya?" He closed the folder of papers he had been tediously occupying himself with to give her his attention.

The man, though few knew this about him, was surprisingly good with his hands when it came to the art of map and guide creation. He found the creation of formation plans enjoyable, a great way for him to not only relax but challenge himself, and has come up with many new and innovative strategies.

"I wish to accept your offer," Said Anya with a grin.

"I'm pleased to hear this," He said. "We will be conducting an expedition beyond the wall soon, I will be keeping a close eye on you." He informed her.

Anya arched a brow to this, her lips curling into a smirk. "No need," She said. "But I will be keeping my eye on you."

XXXX

Erwin, after parting ways with Levi that evening, dragged himself to his quarters for some much needed rest. The day had been trying enough without the bad weather playing a part, though he was pleased to say Anya held her own without his help beyond the walls (not that he doubted her or anything). He gave an exhausted sigh as he removed his cape and slipped out of his jacket, sitting both of them aside as he began to unfasten the buttons of his shirt.

"Hmmm… Captain?" Came a sudden, muffled call.

He stopped his doings, tossing a curious glance to the more than obvious lump in his bed. He watched, with mild interest, as his newest subordinate crawled from underneath the confines of his bed linens. Her dark, wild curls settled into place as she lifted her head to stare back at him, her eyes glistening as her lips curved into a crooked grin.

"Good evening, Captain." Anya greeted with a charming smile.

"Miss Lynnfield," Erwin began. "What exactly are you doing here?" He was no stranger to having women in his bed upon arrival, he was a man with needs after all, but finding a subordinate left him at odds.

Not that he didn't find Anya appealing, oh quite the contrary. She'd caught his attention in more ways than one.

"Corporal Levi sent me," She vaguely explained. "He was correct when he said you had more than enough space to accommodate me."

"_Accommodate_ you?"

"Yes, until I'm assigned a room."

Erwin gave a sigh as he pinched the bridge of his nose. Being too preoccupied with arranging her transfer, he'd completely forgotten about her living quarters. He supposed he could let her stay in his bed, though that would probably lead to problems he didn't have the spare time to fix.

"I see," He said eventually. "You can use my room until yours is ready. I will just room somewhere else temporarily."

"Now Captain Smith, I can't allow you to do that. I wouldn't feel right." Anya said. Adjusting the sheets to hide her obvious nudity, the woman sat up to look at him. "Besides, there's enough room in here for the both of us. I don't bite… _much_."

XXXX

_Anya's heart pounded madly as Reiner made his way up to her, wearing that warm, charming smile she loved so much. "What is this place?"He asked. _

_The regiment was in the process of reclaiming Trost when the girl had snuck away, with Reiner trailing quietly behind her. The remains of her home called to her like a moth to a flame, a headed call she couldn't ignore. _

"_This was my home…" Anya whispered, letting her eyes roam over what was left of a once peaceful town. _

_Everything she had once known and loved, the shops, close-knit families, the homes, now lay in ruins and debris. It seemed like everything was ripped from her grasp in a blink of an eye, turning her world upside down and shoving her into a place she wasn't ready to be in._

_But she was there now. _

_She welcomed the change._

_Embraced the dangers life threw at her. _

"_Why are you here?" Reiner questioned as he glanced around. A chill ran down his strong spine as he ghosted over the remains of small broken toys and flower pots. _

"_I didn't ask you to tag along," Said Anya. "This is somewhere I called home before the wall fell. I don't expect you to understand, you didn't see it crumble through my eyes."_

"_I… I'm sorry." Reiner said, stepping towards her. "I didn't mean to offend." He rested a large palm on her tense shoulder, feeling as she slowly relaxed under his touch. _

_The warmth was nostalgic. The feel of his flesh against hers. Reiner watched as Anya walked around the quiet ghost town, careful not to step on anything that could have been sentimental. She disappeared into what he assumed was what was left of her home, the silence slowly creeping up on him. He folded his arms against his chest, his fingers fidgeting against the material of his jacket. Honey eyes scanned the area, and it was almost like he could hear the screams. _

_Feel the panic._

_The fear. _

_He could all but see Anya with her family, running for their lives as the world they knew crumbled to their feet around them. Hear Anya's cry of devastation as she lost the ones she loved. _

_He tugged at his collar as his heart began to race. _

"_Reiner?"_

_He turned, he hadn't even realized that he'd lost control over his own body and wondered off. "Did you find what you were looking for?" Reiner asked, his mouth suddenly dry._

_Anya gave a nod, holding up a small golden chain for him to see. "It was my mother's," She said referring to the small charm that hung gracefully, suspended by the gentle warm breeze. "She only wore it on special occasions, so it was still in her jewelry box. My Father gave it to her." _

"_Would you like me to put it on you?" Reiner offered. It was the least you could do. _

_Anya silently gave a nod, moving her curls to one side to grant the man access to her neck. Her flesh was warm beneath his finger tips, as he clasped the small golden chain in place. _

"_Your family would be proud of the woman you've become." Reiner murmured softly, allowing his touch to linger. "How beautiful your view of the world still is…" _

_They were no longer together but that didn't mean he still didn't care for the woman. She was his first love, he was hers. They shared far too many intimate moments together for him to just allow her to fade into a faceless past. He heard her inhale a shaky breath, her hand going to rest atop of his. _

"_Thank you for that, Reiner…" She whispered. _

"_What is going on here?" _

_The two bodies turned as they heard the approaching of footsteps, surprised to find Erwin making his way towards them. His face remained stoic, his appearance as pristine as ever, though Anya knew better. There was something swirling, something raw, apparent in his eyes as his gaze shifted from her to Reiner. _

"_I stopped by to get something from my old home, Reiner came along so I wouldn't be alone." Anya replied. _

"_You should not have stepped away from your squad," Said Erwin. "You could have gotten hurt or led others to get hurt assuming something had happened to you. It is dangerous to separate and break strategy." _

"_I understand," She replied dryly. _

_The two men watched in silence as Anya took to the sky and rooftops with her gear, before Reiner turned to face his captain. _

"_With all due respect, Captain, we both know she can take care of herself. This was an important trip for her." _

_Erwin turned to face the equally tall man, sizing him up with a single glare. "I am well aware of this, Mr. Braun. But I would also like to keep my partner alive, so in the future you will do your best to make sure she follows orders in my absence." _

_Erwin was nowhere near self conscious. He had many admiring qualities many women looked for in a man. He was charming, patient, kind, quiet, intelligent, the list could go on. But there was just something about Reiner Braun that left him on edge. He was like him, always calculating. Always planning the next move. They were too much alike in his opinion, and the fact that he was Anya's ex lover didn't aid him at all. He was confident Anya loved him, he loved her. He was confident she had eyes for no one but him. But the head strong captain couldn't shake the nagging 'what if' in the back of his mind. _

_So he waited. _

_He waited for the expedition to end. _

_He waited for the tension to die down._

_He waited for the inevitable calm to wash over them before he approached her much later that evening. _

_Erwin knocked once of the door, waiting patiently for the woman on the other side to answer. Anya's quarters were opposite of the men's and the commanding officers in a cabin shared with three other women. After some time passed and he still had no answer, he knocked again. _

"_What?" Came a muffled call. _

"_May I come in?" He asked. _

"_No."_

"_Might I ask why?"_

"_You know why."_

_Erwin sighed, opening the door anyway. Anya was sitting, cross-legged, on her bed with a book in her hands. She had just showered, he noted by the damp curls that hung over her hunched shoulders, and the change of clothes. She favored a linen sleep shirt, where (if he looked close enough) he could see straight through it. _

"_I said you couldn't come in." Anya glared, her dark eyes narrowing. _

"_I need to talk to you." Erwin said as he closed the door quietly behind him. _

"_There is nothing to talk about." Anya said as she closed her book, sitting it aside. _

"_Yes, yes there is. Anya, I apologize… for my behavior earlier. I had no intentions of ruining your sentimental moment. I lost my head and for that I am sorry. I grew worried when I didn't see you at the regrouping, and when I was told Reiner Braun was with you-"_

"_You got jealous." She completed. _

_Erwin sighed as he took to the foot of her bed. Jealousy was never a shade he favored, but Anya brought out the best and worse in him. _

"_You have no reason to be jealous." Anya insisted. "I am with you now."_

"_I know this," He said. "But…" He grew silent to collect his thoughts. "There are times when I over hear Braun reminiscing about the past with you. The… moments you shared together, moments and memories I should be creating with you now." _

_Anya's face grew soft as she approached the man, cupping his face in her hands. "I am not someone that is going to just walk out of your life," She said. "When I say I love you, I mean it." _

_**The Present~**_

Anya went to remove the single golden chain around her neck, but Erwin shook his head.

"Leave it on." He said, his eyes intense as they roamed over her once more. "It's beautiful on you."

Unable to refuse the man, she allowed the cool metal to flip between her fingers, resting quietly against her goose flesh. She reached for her companion, tugging him closer. Erwin, to others, had no distinct scent. He didn't carry he musky scent the other males had. The captain had a scent all his own.

Faint.

Cool.

Something that belonged to him and him alone.

The remains of lavender coated his warm skin as Anya looked up at him as she began to trace the pattern that was his muscles, defined beneath flawless sun kissed skin. Erwin watched her, the dim room lighting casting shadows over his shimmering eyes, as his lover rested her lips over his heart.

A hand brushed over Anya's jaw, causing her to look up just as Erwin captured her lips in a searing kiss. The captain led with an experience and fineness, with she expected nothing less of a man so perfect, and all Anya could do was allow her heavy eyes to drift shut. She felt the kiss deepen, a quick swipe of the man's tongue before he parted her lips. Anya automatically got closer to her captain, desperate to feel the heat coming off his body.

Erwin pressed forward, guiding Anya back onto her bed.

"Are you sure you want to do this here?" Anya asked, in between kisses. "What if the others hear us?"

Erwin couldn't help but smile, "You're worried about that now? Don't you think it's a bit late for that?" He chuckled quietly at the look she gave them. He secretly adored the bashful side of his normally head strong companion. The others were used to their small scenes of publicly displayed affection- little kisses here and there, the looks, the hand holding, etc.

If they heard, let them. He wanted the world to know that she was his and his alone.

Anya felt her reasoning lost as she felt the press of Erwin's body, the press of it hot against her, logic and fear fleeting. She urged him closer, bringing their lips together once again. She loved the way he tasted. The stale taste of wine on his breath, the way his tongue brushed against hers in a slow motion that left her weak and powerless against him. Anya's fingers ghosted over firm back muscles, strong shoulder blades, down to cup his toned rear. The captain hissed as her touch, pulling her bottom lip between his teeth. Their lips parted and Erwin kissed at her jaw, her neck, down to her collarbones.

"Anya…" Erwin murmured.

Anya's fingers wrapped around Erwin's cock, stroking him slowly. The man moaned, bucking forward into her warm grip, their lips separating as he went to bury his face in the crook of her neck. Erwin's eyes closed, focusing on nothing but the firm hand wrapped around his cock and the soft breathing of his lover. He all but lost his balance when Anya stroked him again, tugging the stiff flesh, his breath hitching.

"Ugh…" Erwin moaned, throatily. "Fuck…" His hands ran down his lover's sides, feeling each toned muscle, erecting a shiver, as he pushed her legs further apart.

Anya lost her grip of Erwin, her dark eyes gazed up at him in question innocently. "Did I do something wrong?" She asked, her cheeks coloring as the thought of not pleasing the man above her.

"Of course not," Erwin breathed. "But if I let you finish I'll cum, and I want to feel you around me first."

She felt fingers brush against the sensitive part of her inner thigh. She trembled, overwhelmed, at the touch of the man's tongue against her exposed clit. Anya arched her hips, the sensation new, as Erwin sucked at the small bundle of nerves. Her hands reached for his hair, gripping the once neat tresses tightly. Erwin traced her outer lips slowly before slipping his tongue inside.

Anya was warm, moist. Her slick walls were sweet like honey, and he lapped at the juices that began to flow from his ministrations. She panted harshly, her mews of the man's name ringing repeatedly, as his tongue curled, sparking pleasure that left her back bowing off the mattress.

"E-Erwin!" Anya gasped desperately. "I want you inside me."

Erwin backed off, licking his lips, as he pushed his hair back. "As you wish."

The couple exchanged a heated kiss just as Anya caressed Erwin's back, appreciating every inch of him, shivering as she felt him press against her entrance. The firm push made the girl's back arch, all breath leaving her, and her captain entered her slowly.

Large.

Warm.

Filling her in a way no words could describe.

Erwin snapped his hips back, thrusting forward as he grunted. Anya moaned aloud as her lover filled her repeatedly, her mews mixing with that of the sound of slapping skin. Erwin gripped her hips tightly, her hips arching to meet the powerful thrusts as they came, her fingers gripping the sheets as she felt every inch of Erwin's cock inside of her.

Filling.

Stretching.

Loving.

Fucking her like she'd never dreamed could be possible.

Truly a perfect fit.

Sweaty, sticky, she demanded more and moaned at each thrust.

"Er…win…" Whimpered Anya. "I… I can't…"

"Cum for me, Anya. Cum for me and only me."

A hand reached between their connected bodies, stroking her overly sensitive clit in perfect sync to the overpowering thrusting. Deep, hard, long, reaching places that lit a fire deep within her belly. Anya saw stars as she came, howling the man's name, before collapsing into the sheets. Erwin continued to thrust, riding out Anya's orgasm, until his cock gave a twitch against the tight walls around him. With a low groan he released himself, warm seed mixing with his lover's own essence.

Erwin couldn't remember the last time he'd had such a great lay, when sex wasn't just sex but something more.

Something better.

He couldn't remember the last time he cared so much about someone else.

With weak limbs Erwin sank down, settling on the spent woman beneath him. Anya kissed sweaty shoulders, his body heavy but reassuring.

Breathless, Erwin planted a soft kiss to the girl's sweat dampened cheek. "You are beautiful." He whispered.

Anya blushed, embarrassed at how she must look to him. "… can we stay like this forever?" Her voice was but a hushed whispered as she turned her face to look at him, dark eyes searching his light. "I want to hold onto this high."

Erwin gave her a charming smile, "Now love, what fun would that be?" He took her hand in his, lacing their fingers together tightly before kissing her knuckles.

For now they'd indulge in each other's presence, each other's warmth. They would sleep, rest up, for tomorrow was another day that held beauty.

* * *

A/N: Well this took A LOT longer to finish than it was supposed to. Like damn. It spent more time sitting unfinished than anything else I've worked on. Well anyway, sorry the lemony bits weren't all long and juicy and such. Reviews are welcomed.


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